Feminism, with sexy results...

Please refrain from too much shock at the timely publishing of this post. As I said before, my aim to update more regularly is wholly serious, and in light of this, I have chosen to blog about a gritty and emotional drama named Sorority Row. It tells the tale of five sorority seniors and their triumphant tale of discovery as they cope with covering up the murder of a sixth student after dumping her in a mine shaft. Well, I may have given it too much credit to describe it as a gritty emotional drama. I imagine that boob-filled teen slasher would be more appropriate. Either way, I watched it, and here are some words that relate to it.

As I said, the premise is that in the light of trying to cover up the murder of one of their friends after a prank goes awry, in order to save their college careers, we fast forward to their graduation 8 months later, when people who know about the secret start getting picked off by a mysterious killer dressed in a graduation hooded cloak, with pimped out tyre iron.I know what you are thinking, this has to be the greatest film of all time. But not so much. the five main characters are painfully two dimensional, even by slasher flick standards, and the plot doesn't even try to give them any depth. There is the shy, retiring nerdy girl who wear glasses and has red hair, so is obviously an out cast the other girls keep as a pet more than anything. The slutty blond who will perform any kind of sexual act if it offers her the chance at some pills, booze or free magazine. The blond bitch who is the powerhouse behind all nasty comments and dubious cover stories. The less bitchy brunette, who has a change of heart halfway through in an attempt to make her appealing. And the strong willed bad-ass lead, who opposes the whole notion of covering everything up, but goes along with it after a weak attempt at blackmailing her to keep schtum. So there are the players, lets hit the plot!

Well, not much to hit there. It follows the standard slashed formulae of them getting picked off one by one, including a few incidental characters along the way, whilst trying to figure out who is in the hood (dead friend?!?) until the big reveal, defeat and escape. Apart from a few choice nods to other slasher greats - the opening shot of the sorority house patio is a dead cert for the one outside Drew Barrymore's house in Scream - there isn't much new here, other than attempting to up the anti with the reveal by making it the least plausible character we have met, and creating a massively convoluted reason for their killings. But more on that later.

Now I am not really having a go at the actors in this film. To be honest with the level of scripting here, they really have done the best they can with the source material. Briana Evigan, of Step Up 2: The Streets fame, holds up well as our indignant hero, but the plot requires her to flip back and forth from righteous to conceding and hating the girls to loving them, that it is hard to give credibility to her moral character. But in the beginnings of her career we all know the obligatory slasher film is almost a certainty by this point. And at least she got to do a bit of dancing in the opening sequence. By far the best role is had by Carrie Fisher, who plays house mother 'Mrs Crenshaw'. Although as equally as shallow a character as the rest of them, she plays her with a certain swagger, that make her funny to watch, but fully aware this woman is a total bad ass. A shotgun toting bad ass at that. With a permanent pout on her face, and a 12-gauge in her hands, she is every serial killer's worst nightmare.

Which brings us to the killer. not the most unlikely character to chose, the boyfriend of the female lead. Though it may suggest a few too many viewings of Scream during the "research" period. But give him a valid motive, and we'll let it go, and enjoy the climax. When they couldn't think of a valid reason for him to be killing all these people, they kind of went for a bullshit one. Apparently, he is so in love with Briana's character, that when he found out about the cover up, rather than talk about it with her directly, or go to the police, he thought it would be a good idea to kill everyone who knew about it, bar her, so they could run away and live together without anyone ever being able to tell the big secret. Makes perfect sense. Just because two wrongs don't make a right, doesn't mean twelve won't do the job!

All that aside though, we do have to remember that this is a teen slasher film. And in light of that, and all the other swarms of similar films out there, it does have it's redeeming features. The deaths are very good and imagination for the most part. Bottle down the neck and flare to the face are especially graphic. And the cinematography is generally good, with smooth transitions and decent pace kept up with some quite kinetic shots to stop the predictable plot from slowing the whole thing down. As far as these films go, it is certainly watchable. Probably best in a room with a bunch of you mates, laughing at the over the top deaths, and enjoying it as entertainment more than goosebumps inducing thrills and spills...and boobs, don't forget the boobs...

Happy viewing...